It’s important that you know a few things before you start getting down in the behind.
*If you don’t like anal, it’s ok.
Just like all sex activities, not everyone loves it. Don’t let anyone pressure you into playing anally if you don’t want to. If you are curious about it, make sure you experiment at a speed that is comfortable for you.
*The anus, unlike the vagina, does not lubricate… AT ALL.
None, nada, nicht. What does this mean? One word; lube. You HAVE to use lube with all anal play, whether that is butt beads, anal plugs, fingers, cocks, dildo, hands, etc. If it’s going in the butt, it better be lubed up! Playing without lube can be painful, and can easily cause small tears in the anal tissue. It can increase risk of infection and/or STIs. Basically, it’s no good. You can use either water-based or silicone-based lube for anal play, but please stay away from oil-based lubes, lotions, etc. Oil-based lubes can leave a coating on the rectum or vagina that may lead to bacterial or other infections.
*Anal sex is still sex.
What does that mean? You can transmit STIs through anal sex, whether it is intercourse, or oral-anal stimulation. This means that unless you and your partner are fluid bound, you need to be using condoms, gloves and/or oral barriers (such as dental dams, non-microwaveable saran wrap, a cut open condom or glove). Want more sensations? Put a drop or two of lube on the INSIDE of the barrier as well as on the outside.
*The key to anal ANYTHING is patience, patience and…wait for it…more patience!
I know, I sound like a broken record, but really, I’m not joking. Anal sex should not hurt (unless you’re getting a spanking at the same time, but that’s a different story). Remember – Rome wasn’t built in a day. Anal sex takes time– start with a well lubed finger, then move to two. You’re not going to be able to put a full sized butt plug in on your first try. I’ve know people who have taken months to go from one finger to anal intercourse. Only put bigger objects in as other, smaller items feel right; don’t push it. Better for you (or your partner) to want more, and be begging for it than to say “OW” and want to stop.
*Anal sex is not supposed to hurt. Again. ANAL SEX IS NOT SUPPOSED TO HURT. Period.
There may be a full feeling, or a feeling of pressure, but if there is pain, STOP. That is your body saying “NO,” and telling you to stop doing what you’re doing. If you keep going, there is a good chance you could damage something. Don’t use anal numbing creams/lubes because you won’t know when you hit that “no more” threshold indicating when you need to stop. Such numbing agents stop you from feeling, not from actually hurting. If it hurts, slow down, add some more lube, maybe go down a size dildo/take out a finger, or even table the anal play for another day.
*If you’re not relaxed, it’s not gonna work.
If you don’t want to have anal sex, your body knows it, and your sphincter will clamp down. If you’re stressed, if you’re upset (it doesn’t even have to be with your partner), or if you’re not turned on, it’s not gonna happen. So take some time to relax, enjoy some foreplay- even if you’re enjoying anal fun on your own, it never hurts to rub down the rest of your body and maybe throw a vibe into the mix. Finally, take a few deep breaths before you go all-in.
Hopefully these tips have given you some food for thought, and your first or next anal experience will be as pleasurable as you want it to be. No butts about it – anal can be lots of fun!
Patience is an (anal) virtue.
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