I KNOW you’ve heard about the Fleshlight Vibro. I KNOW you want one, or want to get one for for partner. I KNOW you or someone you know has just been craving one.
Why?
*Everyone has one, or wants to have one
*They feel incredibly awesome
*A Fleshlight vibro can be used alone, or you can have your partner play too to make mutual masturbation a lot more fun.
*You get a little extra vibration
*The inside pulls out for easy cleaning
*Fleshlight is one of the best brands available for male masturbators
*Fleshlights don’t want cuddling or post sex showers (although they do appreciate them).
Basically, this is an incredibly fabulous toy, and this can be YOURS.
How to enter?
Write a little mini ode to masturbation (May IS National Masturbation Month after all!), and post it in the comments below. Must be at least 2 lines to count as an ode. Deadline? May 16th at 11:50pm PDT. 18+ only, shipping is free domestically, must be paid for international winners.
Feeling a little poetic? Show me what you’ve got, and win this ridiculously awesome toy!
{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }
I was feeling the urge, so much I could hardly stand,
I decided it was time, to address the situation at hand,
time was getting tight, I reached for my trusty fleshlight,
it didn’t take long you see, for me to reach ecstasy
with fleshlight as your friend, you can enjoy yourself again and again
and worry never more, or pay for another whore
What to say about masturbation…
I like to masturbate day and night,
I’d like to masturbate with a fleshlight.
If I am chosen as the lucky winner,
I’ll masturbate during dinner!
Pick me, pick me?!
Thanks! ☺
An ode to Masturbation:
A pleasure like none other
Knowing how to please oneself
Cumming quickly or taking your time
Masturbation keeps you in control.
This ode sucks or maybe it blows
Just touch yourself and no one will know.
I sat and thought on just how to be amazing,
but found myself fantasizing and dazing,
I hoped and dreamed of some sudden inspiration,
but settled for my hand, some lotion, and self fascination,
I turned on the radio hoping to get my start,
but ironically enough, that was not so smart,
for you see, Debbie Boone said I light up her life
but I want the Fleshlight Vibro to play my “wife”,
I shook it and shook it out, moved it in and moved it about,
by Johnny Taylor’s Disco Lady left me in doubt,
I was getting desperate and really wanted this toy,
I couldn’t find anything to help win it for this horny boy,
so I sat in front of the keyboard and let it sink in…
Its all up to these words and my story…maybe I’ll win?
Pregnancy scares, disease, booty calls
So many worries and possible downfalls
One beloved activity solves all of this
So sit down and give it a flick of the wrist.
A Fleshlight for my husband I sought,
He liked that extra pleasure I thought.
While waiting for him to get off work,
I looked at the Fleshlight and started to smirk.
A woman’s taste is something I love,
Coming down on her from above.
I gripped the Fleshlight in my hand,
And lost the ideas I had planned.
I touched the soft fleshy clit,
It felt so nice I had to sit.
In walked my husband who began to beg,
When he saw that Fleshlight between my legs.
I ask you to pick me for that toy today,
So my husband can see I know how to play.
There once was a man from Nantucket
Who used to masturbate into a bucket.
Then he won a fleshlight and spent all night,
finding new and creative places to fuckit.
A HAIKU…
Thought of him with his
cock deep in that toy have my
panties soaking wet.
I wanted to get down
She wasn’t around
Oh what to do tonight?
I turn to you- fleshlight
Ram it in deep
Satisfied, now off to sleep.
When you sitting all alone
With nothing around but your bone
Whip out the ole fleshlight
and pump yourself with delight
Why oh why should we masturbate?
To keep us healthy and top rate.
If we don’t, then we could die.
Because our penises and va-jay-jays will say good-bye.
There once was a girl with a veracious appetite
who uses a vibrator night after night.
Her man wants to share in her delight
but he can’t unless we win the Fleshlight.
Watching him thrust with vigor,
Wanting that to be my open flower,
His tumescent rigor
My mouth would long to devour…
But he’s making me wait,
My patience is running thin,
My animal instinct is to mate…
The pleasure i get when i thrust him in…
Throbbing cocks..Full of thoughts.
Tight and wet..Speckled with sweat.
Slip n’ Slide..With Astroglide.
Wishin I had a..
Fleshlight.
: )
Ode to Masturbation, may we sing our praise for thee
When under stress, just undress, and let your passion free!
Be it wanking in the morning, or sneaking a rub under that dress
Let us all agree, you and me, that masturbation is just the best!
Oh my dearest Fleshlight,
I designed your first ever website,
But you never paid my fee.
If I win this contest,
I’ll do one of your products,
Just like you did me.
(I look back on that whole incident with amusement, really. Fleshlight eventually didn’t go with the website I designed, if they even saw it. I was working through a third party who I assume never showed Fleshlight my design, which is why there was none of that there promised money.)
(Oh, and sorry about the forced rhyme.)
My husband is away for work,
I fear he’s been eyeing the store clerk.
So with him so far away,
He needs this fleshlight
To keep the urges at bay
Oh fleshlght Oh fleshlight
So good and so tight
the very essence of the love i need at night
with your grip on my muscle ever so tight
Oh fleshlight Oh fleshlight be my love tonight.
here i sit thinking of the last time i had sex.
looked online and found a new porn site.
now i think lets pull it out. no ones watching.
home alone penis in hand with good porn on the screen.
complete not yet wish i had a fleshlight to assist me to complete and utter exstacy.
Roses are red
My balls are blue
I’m home alone
Whacking to pics of you
It shall keep her hands free of grease;
I guess I’ll put it on the mantlepiece