The best thing about working at Fascinations during Valentine’s Day is seeing all the cute couples come in together, or separately, to get that special something for each other. While you can find hundreds of great gifts at Fascinations every day, if you have a Valentine’s theme in mind, you’re probably thinking about a plethora of hearts. Here are a few heart-themed gifts that are sure to show your partner that you love them, and then help you express that love in the bedroom.

There’s no need to start out super-kinky when it comes to a special Valentine’s gift, so if you’re looking for something romantic, the Kama Sutra Sweetheart Set is a fun and classy accessory to add to your bedroom. The set comes in either chocolate or strawberry and includes three edible items; body dust, body souffle (lotion), and body paint. The body paint is probably the most adventurous part of this set, as you can paint naughty things on each other, then lick them off, or paint the parts of your partner you like the most, then focus on licking all the body paint off them when the time comes. The other two items in the kit are good for getting your partner in the mood. Putting some edible body dust or lotion on your neck, or other parts you want kissed, is a discreet but straightforward way to show your partner where you would like to be kissed and licked.

It’s important to indulge all the senses when it comes to sex, and combining the senses of taste and sight can be an irresistible combination. After you put the body souffle or dust on, you might want to slip into something a little risque. The Revealing Hearts and Lustful Criss Cross Teddies by G-World definitely take hearts out of the realm of cheesy, and move them into sexy. Both of these teddies are detailed, so they don’t look trashy, but each place heart crystals or pasties right on the breasts, to focus your partner’s attention where you want it. Or if your idea of wearing something sexy doesn’t involve lingerie, the Heart Harness by Sportsheets is a durable harness that comes with a toy if you want to introduce your partner to harness play, or you can use your favorite Tantus of Vixen toy in it, if you’re just in the mood to incorporate some heart decor into your V-Day bedroom festivities. Once you’re done licking the body paint off each other, or removing your sexy lingerie, it’s time to get hot and heavy, but why not continue with the heart theme for the rest of the evening?

If you want to get in the best position every time, the Liberator Heart Wedge is super cute and has the added benefit of aiding in better g-spot, or p-spot, stimulation, deeper penetration, and reducing the amount of fatigue that often comes with having to support yourself with just your hands, knees, and feet during sex. All liberator products are designed to help with these three things (and most people can come up with a few other creative uses too). If you’ve been lusting after a Liberator product, but aren’t sure if it’s for you, the Heart Wedge make an awesome beginner product because it’s small and affordable. Also, the heart design makes it a perfect gift for your Valentine.

Of course, making your Valentine’s experience complete wouldn’t be possible without some fun toys to incorporate into the bedroom. For boys, the Tenga Heart Egg (in-stores only) is a simple disposable masturbation sleeve that is easy to slide over the penis to spice up any hand job. For the ladies, the Fresh by Leaf may not come in traditional heart colors, but if definitely looks like the organ of love. The Love-Vibe is also a good option if you’re going for obvious love this Valentine’s Day. This toy is sparkly and has hearts all over the surface for added texture. If you’re looking to round off your Valentine’s night with some heart-shaped toys, these will do just fine. And don’t forget, you can always add a heart-shaped box to your gift, so you have somewhere to put your toys in when you’re done.

While a lot of people have Valentine’s fatigue due to the excessive amount of pink, red, and hearts everywhere, you can reclaim the idea of heart-shaped gifts, and transform them into a fun night in the bedroom. Besides, it’s a lot more fun to get a heart full of sexy body paint, or a heart that can be used for better sex positions, than a cardboard heart filled with generic chocolate candy.

While it can be fun to spoil your partner with things that are just for them this Valentine’s Day, it’s also fun to pick out gifts that are fun for both of you! Luckily, Fascinations carries tons of items that are made for couples to enjoy that will turn a typical Valentine’s Day into a spectacular one. While we all like to be selfless, when it comes to sex, mutual pleasure can be just as fun, and these gifts will definitely get used well beyond February 14th. So, if you’re looking for some awesome couple’s items this Valentine’s Day, or need a good excuse to get some fun things for you and your partner, this list is a good place to start.

We-Vibe 3

The We-Vibe 3 is the latest iteration of one of the most popular couple’s toys ever. This toy is made to be worn during sex, and vibrates on both sides. The smaller side inserts in the vagina and vibrates on the G-Spot, while the larger side rests on the labia and clitoris. The toy then sits in place during penetration and stimulates the penis during penetration as well. It was designed for straight couples, but there’s not reason this toy can’t be used by all couples, so don’t let that limit you. The design makes the toy a lot more intimate than the traditional vibrating cock rings because it keeps all the stimulation on the G-spot and clitiors, as opossed to a vibrating ring, which stops stimulating when the person wearing it moves away. There are a few great upgrades that make it well worth the investment. The We-Vibe 3 still charges like the previous models, but the charger no longer plugs in. instead, the toy sits in a dock, which plugs into the wall. This not only makes ite easier to charge, but makes it 100% waterproof and submersible. It also has more power that the previous, which is great, and comes with a wireless remote to control it with, which makes it easier to control during sex, or if you want to get really creative, your partner can wear it out while you keep the remote in your pocket or purse. Because of the design of the We-Vibe 3, it’s recommended to use it with some water-based lube.

System Jo 2 to Tango

A lot of times, spicing up sex is as simple as trying something different, and System Jo’s 2 to Tango lube duo is a good place to start. Similar to other couple’s lubes on the market, 2 to Tango includes a warming and a cooling lube that you can use together or seperately. The neat thing about this particular product is that one lube is silicone-based and one water-based, so they don’t mix together, meaning the guy’s lube stays with the guy and the lady’s lube stays with her. The silicone lube is the cooling one, and is “for her” and the water-based lube is warming (with a little bit of desensitizing thrown in) and is “for him.” If you’re not someone who wants to mix the sensations, the other advantage to buying the 2 to Tango is that you get a cooling and warming lube in a set for an affordable price instead of having to buy them seperately.

Love Is Art

This kit is an ultimate couple’s activity if you want to have a sexually adventurous Valentine’s Day. The Love is Art kit comes with a bed-sized canvass and hypoallergenic black body paint, so you and your partner can paint each other’s bodies however you would like. After you’re painted each other wherever you want, the whole point is to have some hot sex on top of the cnvass, so the paint transfers while you’re having a good time. When you’re all done rolling around with each other, you’ve created an abstract work of art that can be hung in your bedroom, or other room in your house, as a reminder of your lust for each other.

Liberator Throe

Off the bat, you might wonder what’s so great about getting a blanket for your partner for Valentine’s Day, which is what the Liberator Throe masquerades as to the naked eye. However, there is a lot more than meets the eye here, and you’ll soon find out why it’s an awesome gift for both of you. As with every Liberator product, the Throes are completely liquid resistant meaning that you can have sexy time on on top of one and then throw it aside when your done, and climb into a warm bed that’s free of excess lube, body paint, or wet spots. If you decide to get the Love is Art kit mentioned above and make an art project with your partner, you can lay the Throe down before you get down and dirty to make sure you don’t get any paint on your sheets or bedspread. Also, if you or your partner happens to be a squirter, or have particularly sloppy sex, you’ll never have to worry about laying down towels or changing the sheets again.

Lelo Lyla

If one of your favorite things to do is tease your partner until they’re practically begging to climb into bed with you, the Lyla is perfect. This chargebale remote wireless bullet is made for insertion, or it can sit in panties. Have your partner wear the bullet how they want, and keep the remote with you while you’re out on your Valentine’s date. Because the remote vibrates in sync with the bullet, you’ll know exactly what your partner is feeling and be able to tease them as little, or as much, as you want. Plus, once you get home, you can use the Lyla like a traditional bullet during foreplay. Lelo’s toys are virtually silent and well-made, so you don’t have to worry that someone will catch on to what’s going on. The Lelo Oden and The We-Vibe 3 are also wireless remote toys that charge and can work the same way.

While Valentine’s Day is often used as an excuse to spoil your partner, it’s sometimes more fun to get gifts that will be fun for both of you. At Fascinations, everything we carry is meant to enhance couple’s sex lives, so there are a lot of fun things to choose from that will stimulate and excite both of you this month. Plus, a fun toy or bedroom accessory is likely to get used much more often than a box of chocolates or neck tie will.

While it’s much more fun to talk about the “do’s” of sex, there are some questions Fascinations associates are frequently asked that require a more nuanced explanation of why you should “just say no.” Vaginal tightening creams are one of the items we are asked for in our stores, and many people are confused when they find out that we don’t carry any tightening gels, creams or sprays. If you are interested in why Fascinations doesn’t carry these products anymore, or are thinking about trying a tightening cream, read the following information before making that choice.

The basic premise of a vaginal tightening cream is that it is applied inside the vaginal canal before intercourse, and as it takes effect, it causes the vagina to tighten. Over time, the effect wears off, so more cream must be applied. Extended use of a tightening cream does not permanently strengthen the PC muscles, or result in a “tighter” vagina. While the concept of tightening cream is appealing to many people, it’s important to question why our society feels the need to produce products that promote an unrealistic image of vaginas that doesn’t live up to reality. Additionally, the question of how these creams work brings up some safety and sexual health issues to be aware of.

Every person’s vagina is different in lots of ways including shape, color, hair (or lack-of), and tightness. Promoting an ideal that vaginas are only good if they are “tight” fails to acknowledge the diversity of different vaginas and creates a false ideal which creates insecurity in people who have vaginas, and unrealistic expectations in people who like vaginas. So, let’s get this out of the way here: No matter what you (or someone else’s) vagina looks or feels like, it’s awesome and shouldn’t be any other way. There has never been a universal vagina mold that all vaginas aspire to imitate, and however tight, hairy, or colorful your vagina is, it’s cool just the way it is. This is not to say that vaginas don’t change over time, and become less tight than they used to be; this is a fact of life, and is generally caused by weakened PC muscles due to childbirth or age. However, the use of a tightening gel isn’t going to solve these common health problems, and there is a much better long term way to strengthen the PC muscles, without the possible negative health effects.

Besides the more theoretical implications of the demand for tightening creams, it’s also important to understand how these creams work, and why they might not be the best choice if you want to strengthen your PC muscles. Almost all tightening gels and creams contain alum, which is the same ingredient in most deodorants. This means that every time you apply a tightening cream, it is “tightening” the vagina by absorbing all the natural moisture. This can mean pain with any sort of penetration (since there’s little to no natural lubricant), which doesn’t sound too fun. Additionally, alum has been known to irritate people who have sensitive skin, and can be painful if your body is not compatible with it. On a more serious health note, alum may contribute to an increased risk of Alzheimer’s, and while there is no conclusive link, it’s often best to avoid items that contain ingredients that might be bad for you, especially if you’re using that item internally, and if there are other alternatives available.

On a more economic note, it ends up costing a lot of money to keep buying a tightening gel for every sexual encounter, since it has no permanent effect, so you have to keep using it no matter what to keep the same results. Anyone can strengthen their PC muscles (which will help with vaginal tightness, orgasm control, and incontinence prevention) permanently by investing in a good set of Kegel Balls (like the Ami, or Smartballs) and some water-based lube. You can also use a graduated bar like the NJoy Fun Wand or Icicles No 8 to aid in the strengthening of the PC muscles as well. These toys have the added effect of permanently strengthening the vaginal muscles, meaning the results will be evident over time, and not something that lasts for a few minutes at a time. If you want more detailed information on PC muscle exercise, you can refer to our blog post here.

In the end, the short-term advantages of tightening gels don’t seem outweigh the other issues that may arise when using them, so it’s recommended to exercise your PC muscles the traditional way (with a Kegel bar or Kegel balls) that will lead to long-term health benefits and a happier sex life. Generally, if something seems like a quick fix to a sexual health concern, it’s probably too good to be true. Improving your sex life and/or sexual health almost always requires some time and energy.

After years of hoping for better quality vibrating panties and wireless remote bullets, Lelo and We-Vibe have delivered with the first chargeable toys that come with wireless remotes, and they’re as fun and durable as can be. Lelo’s Lyla and Oden, and the We-Vibe 3, may be three of the greatest toys ever made (OK, I’m just really excited about them), especially if you’re looking for high quality remote-operated toys. The biggest complaint about these toy’s battery-operated counterparts is that they take tiny batteries that run out quickly, are expensive, and are impossible to find. Once you use up the batteries that come with most wireless remote bullets or vibrating panties, you have to go on a scavenger hunt to find more. The Lyla, Oden, and We-Vibe 3 solve this battery problem for good and make teasing and pleasing your partner easier with sleek, well-designed toys.

The Lyla is a 100% silicone bullet-style toy with a wireless remote (most similar to other wireless remote bullets). The bullet part of the Lyla charges (after no more than two hours), and the remote takes 2 AAA batteries, which means that in a crunch, you can just pop the batteries out of your TV remote control if needed. It also has a handy retrieval cord, which means you can insert it, give your partner the remote, and start the fun. It can also be used externally for clitoral stimulation. Of course, if you’re going to be wearing the Lyla internally for an extended period of time, you want to use a water-based lube with it, so it doesn’t become uncomfortable. The bullet is probably a little too large to be discreet if inserted in a pair of panties, so if that’s your goal, you probably want to look at the Oden instead.

The Oden may seem to be a perplexing shape at first sight, but it’s form only adds to it’s function. The ring at the bottom of the Oden means it can easily be slipped around the base of the penis for some added stimulation during intercourse. If you’re using it this way, it’s probably best that he lie on his back and you get on top to keep the toy in place and control your contact with it. However, the neatest design aspect of the Oden is that it’s flat, and curved, to easily fit in the front of a pair of panties, so it works as a smarter (and quieter) alternative to vibrating panties. The bullet part of the Oden charges and the remote takes 2 AAA batteries, just like the Lyla.

Even with the smart and sleek designs of the Lyla and the Oden, one of the coolest design features is in the remote control. The remote that comes with each of these toys comes with SenseMotion technology, which operates in a few different ways. If you’re using the button controls on the remote, a small motor in the remote vibrates at the same speed as it does in the bullet, so you know what type of vibration your partner is feeling. No other wireless remote toys have this feature, which is helpful in being able to tease your partner exactly how you want without having to remember what setting the toy is on. However, the awesomeness doesn’t stop there. A second setting on the remote allows you to hold it in your hand and move it left and right, similar to a dial, which will increase the intensity of the vibration. It’s almost impossible to describe how intuitive this technology is without holding the bullet in one hand and the remote in the other and checking it out for yourself.

Both the Oden and Lyla are great wireless bullets with different purposes, but if you want an entirely handsfree couple’s toy, the We-Vibe 3 is a perfect option. The We-Vibe 3 is the exact same thing as the We-Vibe 2, which means it is a 100% silicone U-shaped toy with a vibrator for the G-Spot and one for the clitoris, but it is thin enough to be worn during sex, which means it stimulates your partner’s penis a lot more than your standard vibrating cock ring, since it sits inside the vagina. The We-Vibe 3 is different from the We-Vibe 2 in three ways; it has a wireless remote, it is fully submergible, and it has more power. If you want to change the We-Vibe 3‘s speed, you just click the remote until you find the perfect speed or pulsation setting instead of having to reach between you and your partner to hit the button. Of course, using it in the exact same way as the We-Vibe 2 would be boring, and since the We-Vibe 3 includes the wireless remote, you can insert one side and let the other side sit against your clit in a pair of panties and go out on the town. With any of the We-Vibe models, using a water-based lube is recommended to make the experience as slippery and comfortable as possible.

Instead of spending an endless amount of money on small batteries, or fretting about vibrating panties and remote bullets that are too loud to wear in public, you now have three great silicone, chargeable options to choose from. If you’re looking for an insertable wireless bullet, the Lelo Lyla is the way to go. If you want a toy you can use a vibrating cock ring, or panty vibrator, the Lelo Oden is probably right for you. And if you want a toy that stimulates both you and your partner if used during sex, but can also be put in a pair of panties for a night on the town, the We-Vibe 3 is probably best for you.

Last week, I suggested some gifts for people on Santa’s nice list, which were some awesome ideas to help inspire romance in your relationship. While we all like to be on Santa’s good list, those of us at Fascinations also like to get put on Santa’s naughty list from time to time. If you and your partner like to spice up your Christmas gifts to each other, or if you want to spoil your partner with some fun accessories for the bedroom over the holidays, this list is for you. Sometimes it’s OK to be bad if it means getting (or giving) one of the items on this list.

Couple’s Toys

Nothing says, “this Christmas I totally want to do you” than gifting your partner a toy you can use together. If you want to go the simple route (or are putting together a gift with a lot of little things), the Lingo and Screaming O are disposable vibrating rings. The Lingo goes over the tongue to add some stimulation to oral sex, and the Screaming O ring sits at the base of a penis or toy, for some added stimulation during intercourse. If you know your partner likes couple’s toys, and you want a toy you can use more than once, the Sexual Exciters vibrating cock rings have multiple speeds and multiple textures to send your honey to heaven. If you want durability, but aren’t into cords to constrain you (like the Sexual Exciters have), the We-Vibe 2 and We-Vibe 3 will be sure to stimulate both of you, and Lelo’s Tor and Oden give you the settings of the Sexual Exciters without the cords or batteries.

Whips and Chains

Whether you’re into bondage, or have just talked about trying it, if you want your honey to tie you up for the holidays some soft wrist restraints or bondage rope might be the perfect thing. Of course, it’s no fun to tie someone up without teasing them a little bit, so a simple feather tickler and a blindfold are always nice accessories to include with restraints. If you or your partner was VERY naughty this year, Santa might instead choose to bring them a crop or paddle so they can get that well-deserved spanking. Or if bondage and spanking are a little too plain for your tastes, you can add a ball gag, nipple clamps, or a Neon Wand. The holidays are a time to surprise your partner, so getting items that help you explore the fantasies you’ve only talked about can be a great gift.

That Toy They Couldn’t Justify Spending Money on

In this economy, it often seems like a luxury to be able to purchase that perfect sex toy, so a lot of people put toys by Lelo, Jimmy Jane, We-Vibe, or Fun Factory on their wishlists, but choose lower-quality alternatives until they can save up for the vibrator they really want. The holidays are a time to spoil your partner by getting them things they would never indulge in on their own. Find out what their ideal toy is, then surprise them with it, or if you know they’re toys keep shorting out, breaking, or burning out, invest in a toy that charges and has a warranty. This will show you care about their sexual pleasure, and don’t mind spending a little extra to get them something good.

Anything by Liberator

Liberator makes exceptional position furniture that helps with G-Spot stimulation, deeper penetration, reduces the risk of fatigue, and is perfect for people who are pregnant, have a physical disability, or really like that specific position, but can’t stay in it for thirty minutes. All of their products are made with memory foam, have two layers of liquid-proof fabric (in case of that accidental lube spill), and come in different shapes for different people. The traditional Ramp (which fits nicely with the Wedge) is a good first-time Liberator gift, or the newer Flip-Ramp is a good versatile, gift. Fascinations also just started carrying the Fascinator Throes, which are soft throes that cover your whole bed and absorb any liquid you might get on them. At the end of a naughty night, you can just throw them to the side of your bed, climb into totally dry sheets, and put them in the laundry/wash the next day.

A Sex Swing

If you and your partner have tried out position furniture, vibrators, couples toys and handcuffs, but want to take it up a notch, a Sex Swing might be the perfect thing. Sex Swings are made to be attached to a weight-bearing beam in your ceiling (or you can get the Universal Sex Swing Stand to hang it from). Sex swings enable one of you to float weightlessly in the air while your partner finds creative positions to use with you. If you’re bored with sex in your bed, putting a sex swing in your room can help add variety, and if you don’t always like having the weight of your partner on top of you, a sex swing will help you find some ways to get into the same positions without having to worry about smashing each other.

While it’s fun to get nice gifts from Santa during the holidays, naughty gifts can be way more exciting to give (and receive!) and can lead to some crazy nights. Fascinations carries a wide array of naughty and nice gifts to give your partner this holiday season to show them you care about them, and to get them in the mood.

In the not-too-distant past, obtaining a sex toy meant venturing into a dingy shop in a shady area of town, where you could pick from a few toys with a porn star on the package on the only rack in the store that wasn’t full of adult movies. If vaguely creepy porn shops weren’t your thing, you had to choose from everyday household items that you could find at the mall or big box store and hope they would suffice at being discreet as well as getting the job done.

Luckily, as it has become more acceptable to talk about sexual desire, sex toys have become a topic of conversation among couples and groups of friends alike, and education oriented toy stores like Fascinations have popped up across the country. Getting a good sex toy has even infiltrated pop culture, showing up everywhere from Sex and the City to Oprah. On a very practical level, this means that everyone has more options when it comes to they toys they want, and means technology and design have now become desirable attributes when looking at toys. This has resulted in an explosion of well-designed and body-safe toys that no longer run on batteries, but charge like a laptop or cell phone. While this may seem needless at first, the advantages to chargeable toys are numerous. As with any other electronic device, finding a toy that meets all of your needs is going to be an investment that is meant to benefit your everyday life. Some chargeable toys even look like they were pulled right out of an Apple Store display, so you can match it to your iPad or MacBook.

The advantages of owning a chargeable toy are infinite and depend on what you’re looking for. One of the best things about chargeable toys is they can pack a lot of power into a small package, if you want something small AND powerful (and, really, who doesn’t?). If you’re looking for a toy with a lot of power you usually have to pick up a bullet that has a large remote with a cord and batteries, or a traditional back massager that has to stay plugged into the wall. Chargeable toys often incorporate the same powerful motors as these other toys, but don’t require the cords, remotes, or an excessive amount of batteries. This feature also eliminates the common problem of cords shorting out because of too much use. This also means they are prettier, which seems like a weird reason to get a sex toy, but is a good thing if you want a non-intimidating toy, or are getting a nice gift for someone. Toys that look appealing are more fun to play with, and with all the color and shape options, it’s likely there is a toy design that suits everyone’s personality.

Because chargeable toys don’t have batteries rattling around inside of them, they tend to be a lot more silent than your standard toys. This is handy if you’re looking for something quiet because of kids or neighbors, or if you just aren’t a fan of a sex toy that sounds like a lawn mower when you’re using it (most people don’t find lawn mower sounds that sexy). Another advantage to quieter toys is that using them with your partner means you’re not going to be distracted by the sound of the toy so much that you forget to focus on what’s going on elsewhere. You’ll be able to hear your partner’s sweet nothings, sexy noises and movements without having to ask them to repeat themselves.

Because chargeable toys don’t have parts you have to take apart to put batteries in, they tend to be a lot more durable than battery operated vibrators, which crack or loosen over time. Even if your chargeable toy does break, most brands (Lelo, Je Joue, Fun Factory, and We-Vibe) come with a 1-year warranty. Jimmy Jane’s chargeable toys, on the other hand, come with a 3-year warranty. This also means most chargeable toys are made out of body-safe materials; generally medical grade silicone. If a toy is going to last several years, it makes no sense for it to be made out of a cheap material that discolors and absorbs bacteria and body fluids, since you’ll feel the urge to throw it out before the warranty is even up.

The fact most chargeable toys don’t have parts to unscrew also means that a lot of them are 100% waterproof. Most battery-operated vibrators are “waterproof” by virtue of a small rubber band located between the vibrating part and the battery pack, which means it’s safe to wash, but not a good idea to use in a hot tub, pool, or bath. Chargeable toys by Jimmy Jane, Je Joue, Fun Factory, and Lelo’s Insignia line are all made to submergible, which means you can take them in the bath when you need some alone time, but also means you don’t have to be concerned when cleaning them.

Finally, and this might sound a little hippyish, chargeable toys are better for the environment. In a perfect world, we would all recycle our alkaline batteries, but the fact is that, most of the time, we throw them away. This means they’re going into landfills and the chemicals are seeping into the ground, contaminating the earth and groundwater. Because you don’t have to dispose of batteries with chargeable toys, it helps the environment while also saving you money, since you don’t have to go out and buy batteries every time your toy dies, you can just plug it in again.

These are just a few of the advantages to investing in a toy that charges. Design, material, durability, and functionality are a few reasons why chargeable toys tend to be a better choice than traditional jelly or hard plastic vibrators. Because society has become more open about the fact it’s OK to use sex toys, many companies now design toys that are made to suit people’s needs and bodies, rather than being marketed to sell because they have a porn star on the box. Thankfully, Lelo, Fun Factory, Jimmy Jane, We-Vibe and Je Joue, all make high quality, chargeable toys that are fun to use along with being fun to look at! And, if you’re looking for a naughty, but classy gift to give during the upcoming holiday season, these sleek-looking and nicely-packaged toys make a great present.

Picking out the right strap-on for you and your partner might seem like a daunting experience, and rightly so. Strap-ons are probably the one sex toy where most of the items seem pretty similar to each other, but upon closer inspection, there are big differences between each strap-on harness as well as the toys that go with them. When thinking about purchasing a strap-on there are several factors that come into play including versatility, ease of use, and durability. Depending on you and your partner’s needs, as well as your budget, there is a harness and toy out there that is perfect for you, the challenge is going to be narrowing you choices down from the large selection strap-ons that Fascinations carries.

Versatility:

A lot of couples make the mistake of buying the cheapest strap-on they can find for their first time. A cheap strap-on may seem like a good idea merely because of the price, but is not a very economical decision in the long run. Getting a cheap strap-on almost always means one thing; you’ll only be able to use one toy, or the same size toy, for the life of the harness. A lot of the “beginner” strap-ons have the toy connected to the harness, or don’t have an adjustable o-ring, which gives you far fewer options if you want to change things up. Even if you’re not sure about strap-on play, it’s usually a better idea to get a harness that gives you the option to change out the toy whether it’s because you have a new partner, or a partner who wants some variation. Additionally, a lot of the cheaper strap-ons come with porous toys, which means the toy will eventually discolor and get dirty, so you’ll have to throw it out and buy a new one. As someone who admits to being a sex-toy-material-snob, getting a harness that comes with a 100% silicone toy, or one that you can use a Vixen or Tantus dong in, is going to be better in the long run, since those toys last forever if you take minimal care of them. The Sportsheets Velvet Harness fulfills all of the qualifications for a good beginner harness because it comes with three different size o-rings, which you can switch out depending on the size of toy you’re using, it fits up to 60″ hips, so it fits all sorts of people (and if you’re hips are larger than 60″, the Sportsheets Diva Harness is the same harness, but it fits up to 82″ hips), and it is cloth, so you can throw it in the washing machine when you’re done using it without risk of ruining it. If you want a little more support/sturdiness in a harness, Sportsheets’ Corsette Harness has a wider lace-up part on the back that not only makes it sturdier while wearing, but looks super hot when you’re wearing it (who says sex toys can’t be sexy?). The other awesome thing about Sportsheets harnesses is that they come with a limited lifetime warranty, which means they’re guaranteed to be more durable than the cheaply made “one-size-fits-most” harnesses from other companies. If you’re looking for a good bundle deal, the Tantus Bend Over Beginner, Bend Over Intermediate, Curve, and Flame kits all come with a Sportsheets harness and one or two 100% silicone Tantus toys, which cost less than buying all the parts separately (kind of like a combo meal). Another good thing about all these harnesses is that they fit in a jock-strap style as opposed to a thong-style. Again, most “beginner” strap-ons are thong-style, which means you get less support than a harness that you can tighten on your thighs, and you end up with a pretty killer wedgie.

Ease of Use:

The downside to most harnesses is that they can be a pain in the butt to get on. You have to take the time to step into them, make sure you’re not all tangled up, and adjust the straps so it stays on your body, which can be annoying if you’re in the middle of getting hot and heavy. Because of this, “strapless strap-ons” were invented, and they are super popular. Besides being easy to get ready since they just insert into the vagina or anus, they also tend to be more intimate because you don’t have any cloth between you and your partner, which makes it easier to access their sensitive areas as well. It also gives the wearer more stimulation, since their G-spot or prostate is going to feel stimulation with every thrust. Not all strapless strap-ons are created equal, though. The Feeldoe is the original strapless strap-on and still one of the most popular. The Feeldoe comes in five different shapes and sizes and all are 100% medical grade silicone. If you’re concerned about the strength of your PC muscles to be able to hold a strapless strap-on in (and don’t want to invest in some Kegel balls), there are body-safe options other than the Feeldoe. The Share strap-ons from Fun Factory are similar to the Feeldoes, but that have larger bulbs on the end that is inserted. Another advantage to using strapless strap-ons is that they work really well for people who want to try, or enjoy, double penetration. A guy can wear a strapless strap-on in his anus while penetrating his partner with his penis as well. It also gives the added benefit of providing prostate stimulation for him. If that seems like a little much, Sportsheets also makes the Menage a Trois harness that he wears with one ring around his penis and one ring for a toy.

Durability:

All of the harnesses, dongs, and strapless strap-ons mentioned above are more durable that your average strap-on, which is why they come highly recommended. Of course, you don’t have to worry as much about durable toys than durable harnesses, since it takes a lot of work to rip a toy, and toys don’t tend to fall apart after heavy use (assuming they’re good quality). If your harnesses are prone to ripping and fraying, the Joque Harness is likely a good answer to your problems. Joque is fully adjustable, but doesn’t have all the excess straps like other harnesses tend to. It’s made out of nylon instead of cotton, so it stretches better. This also makes it safe to use in the water and more comfortable if you want to wear it under your clothes (for impromptu play, or packing). The design also allows for use with double-sided toys, including the Feeldoe, Share, or Nexus if you like the concept of a strapless strap-on, but don’t necessarily have the Kegel muscles needed to hold the toys in. Besides being one of the most durable harnesses on the market, it also looks cute on, since it fits lower on the hips. Even if you’re not someone who has gone through a lot of harnesses, the Joque makes a good first harness for all the reasons mentioned.

Versatility, ease of use, and durability are the three main factors to consider when looking at purchasing a strap-on. Harnesses that allow you to change out the size of the toy, adjust the waist and thighs, and are made of easy-to-wash materials tend to last longer, which means you and your partner will have less hassle when it comes to getting your freak on. Well-designed toys and accessories take the stress out of preparing for an intimate encounter and allow you to focus your attention on you and your partner’s pleasure.

Recently, a lot of media attention was given to a feminist blogger whose checked luggage was inspected by the TSA. On the inspection notice left in her bag, a TSA employee had written, “get your freak on girl[sic]” after discovering her bullet vibrator during the luggage screening. Whatever your opinion on this incident and the travel/privacy concerns it brings up, the issue of traveling with sex toys is one that a lot of people grapple with, either because they travel a lot, are going away from home (and their partner and/or toys) for a long time, or are going somewhere exotic/romantic with their partner. There are three ways to go when traveling with sex toys; small and discreet, large but potentially innocuous, or something that doesn’t vibrate, so there is no motor/wires to attract suspicion. Traveling with any sex toy shouldn’t be shameful no matter what it’s shape/size. However, if you are uncomfortable with the idea of having to pull a sex toy out of your carry-on luggage in front of a line of people, or don’t want a security screener to necessarily know they’re looking at a vibrator, there are some sex toys that work better than others.

Generally, traveling with toys means going small and discreet so that anyone who comes across a toy in your bag might not realize what it really is. In terms of vibrators, the Lelo Mia is an ideal option for most travelers. The Lelo Mia is the size and shape of a tube of lipstick, which means it could easily be mistaken for makeup (it even has a removable cap). If a luggage screener were to take the cap off of it, they would find a USB port, making it look like a standard flash drive rather than a sex toy. The Mia charges via USB, but it could feasibly be a computer accessory to the untrained eye. If you travel with a laptop, this charging option is nice because you can just plug the Mia into your computer instead of having to remember to bring an additional charger with you on your travels. Better yet, you can charge it for an hour before you leave on your trip, and guarantee an hour and a half of use before you need to charge it again, which makes it ideal for short trips, and you don’t have to worry about it turning on in your luggage because you can lock it to prevent it from turning on unexpectedly. There are a few other types of small toys that are designed to hide the fact they’re vibrators including vibrators that imitate lipstick, look like a rubber duck, or are just a standard-looking mini-vibe. Or, like the blogger mentioned above, you could travel with a small bullet vibrator, but bullets tend to be obvious sex toys. If you’re a guy looking for a discreet masturbator, Tenga’s 3D masturbators do the trick, looking like nothing sexual, or you could always go the classic route with the Fleshlight (which gets its name because it is hidden inside a case that looks like a flashlight).

If small and discreet isn’t your style because of texture or power constraints, there are some sex toys you can travel with that are larger and more powerful, but innocuous enough that the TSA won’t realize what exactly they’re looking at. Old-school back massagers are ideal in this situation because they are still used by many for back massage, but have been co-opted by all sorts of women into clitoral stimulators. Traveling with one of these toys is going to take up more room in your luggage, but sometimes hiding something in plain sight is the most effective method of traveling with a sex toy. The Hitachi Magic Wand is the classic example of this type of massager, but the Rechargeable Body Wand is might be a better choice if you’re going out of the country and don’t want to bring adapters for plugging things in.

Because luggage screeners are often looking for random motors/wires which will set off an inspection, the another way to to travel with sex toys without being subjected to additional screening is to travel with non-vibrating toys. Some non-vibrating toys look more non-phallic than others, but a lot of them probably won’t arouse suspicion, and like the Hitachi, some of them might be mistaken for back massagers. Any of Njoy’s stainless steel toys are sleek and artsy looking, and Pyrex toys are going to fit into this same mold, meaning they might slip under the radar. If you’re traveling with a harness, Tantus and Vixen dongs come in non-vibrating varieties as well. For men who want to travel with a prostate stimulator, the Aneros line of toys are hard plastic toys that don’t vibrate, and look unsuspecting.

These are just a few of the types of toys that are more likely to fly under the radar if you’re concerned about traveling with sex toys in your carry-on or checked luggage. In an ideal world, traveling with sex toys would not be something to feel shame, stress, or embarassment over, but the reality is that that’s not always the case, and a lot of travelers are looking for items that might not be easily identified as toys if a luggage screener pulls them out of your bag, or see them on an X-Ray. For this reason, there are toys that exist that are made to look discreet and innocuous enough to give you peace of mind if you’re trying to fly somewhere with it.

A lot of peoples first experience at Fascinations is with a group of friends on someone’s 18th birthday, shopping for naughty/funny bachelorette party items, or looking for a cute Halloween costume. Because all of our stores are welcoming, well-lit, and staffed with knowledgeable people, a lot of the people who first come in for fun decide to return to us when they want to pick out their first vibrator.

However, picking a first toy can be an overwhelming experience, not least because there are hundreds of toys to choose from in all different shapes, materials, sizes, and price ranges. Those four factors are good things to think about before shopping for a first toy, so you’re not swimming in a sea of vibrators with no idea what direction you want to go in. The other important thing to think about is what kind of stimulation you want from a toy. If you’re specific about the kind(s) of stimulation you want, it’s going to be easier to narrow down your options and make sure you get a toy that is right for you. Of course, if it’s your first toy, or you’re buying a first toy for a friend or partner, you might not know exactly what you want, which is why all of Fascination’s staff is trained extensively on toys. If you live near our stores, you can just come in and ask an associate for help, but if you’re not able to do that, this is where this handy guide comes in.

Generally, there is one good place to start when it comes to getting a first vibrator; the clitoris. Since almost all women orgasm easier and more often from clitoral stimulation than g-spot stimulation, most women’s first toys are clitoral vibrators. For this reason, bullet vibrators are a good choice. Generally, you want to get a clitoral vibrator that has more than one speed because everyone’s clit is different and a one-speed toy (like the Pocket Rocket) might not have the right vibration for you. Most of the small, wire-free bullet vibrators have one speed and take watch batteries, which means they run out quickly, but if you want something small and simple, the Iconic Bullet and Candy Bullet both have multiple speeds, and the Candy Bullet even has pulsing settings. However, having to buy new batteries frequently is the downside to these small bullets, which is why it’s sometimes a better idea to get a bullet that has a wire and controller and takes AA or AAA batteries. Both the Bunny Teaser and the Slimline Bullet are popular first-time bullets that have a lot of speed options. There’s a downside to bullets with wires, though. Eventually any toy with a wire is going to short out, whether it’s in 6 months or 6 years, so it will have to be replaced. For this reason, small chargeable clitoral vibrators have recently become all the rage since they have the same power as the wired bullets, but have less pieces, are quieter, and generally have at least a year warranty. Fascinations carries numerous chargeable clitoral toys, but some of the most popular are the Form 2, Mimi, Touch, Siri, and Alia. While these toys are a little pricier than a standard bullet vibrator, they don’t require batteries of any kind (since they charge), which means they’re going to last longer. These chargeable toys also make a good gift if you’re getting your partner her first toy and you don’t want anything that might seem scary or intimidating. Jimmy Jane, Lelo, We Vibe, Fun Factory and Je Joue toys are all sleek-looking and come in classy packaging that is made to be non-intimidating.

On the other hand, you might want a first toy that you can use for clitoral stimulation, but that will also work if you want to stimulate/find your G-spot as well. If this is the case, any vibrating toy that is 4 inches or longer will work just fine. For a first time, you probably don’t want to pick out the biggest toy in the world, since comfort is just as important as vibration when it comes to masturbation. If you’re going to be using a longer toy mainly for clitoral stimulation, but might use it internally, you probably want a toy that has the vibrating part at the tip of the toy. The Lia and Patchy Paul are both popular toys in this category because they have a small curve, but keep the vibration toward the tip. If you think you’ll be using the toy equally for internal and external stimulation, the Gigi is a very good choice. It has a curve and is firm to help stimulate the G-spot, but has a flat spot at the top that is good for clitoral stimulation. A lot of women choose a toy like this for their first toy so they are not limited in options for stimulation. Toys that can be used internally or externally make excellent gifts if you are unsure what your partner will want in a toy because you can use it a few different ways (and have fun finding those ways together!). Small clitoral vibes certainly aren’t going to help find the G-spot, so something longer is great for that, and still works well if you want clitoral stimulation. It’s always a good idea to pair a water-based lube with any toy that can be used internally, so there isn’t any discomfort.

There are also toys like the Iconic Rabbit, and the Lelo Ina, which are dual-stimulating toys, meaning they stimulate the G-Spot and clitoris at the same time. Generally, these are not going to be good first time toys unless you are familiar with what kind of stimulation you like and know you like to have your G-Spot and clitoris stimulated at the same time. A lot of people who get rabbit vibes as their first toy only end up using the clitoral stimulation part because they don’t particularly care for rotating beads/other internal movement on their toy.

Even narrowing down your search in the ways suggested here is going to leave you with several options for a first toy, but hopefully it will help you figure out what type of shape, size, and stimulation you want in a toy, and help focus you on the right choice. Of course, if you have questions about the pros and cons of specific toys as first time toys, you can ask them in the comments!

Last week, Fascinations hosted one of our Let’s Talk Sex events on erotic fellatio at our Tempe location. We know not everyone can make it to our fabulous Let’s Talk Sex workshops, so we use this blog as a venue to complement the phenomenal sex education taking place in our stores, whether through workshops, or the vast knowledge our associates possess and share with our guests on a daily basis. (By the way, if you’re interested in attending one of our Let’s Talk Sex workshops, the event calendar is located here. Most events are free and open to all people 18+).

When men are polled, fellatio is usually listed as one of the top sex acts they enjoy, yet many women (and men) are less than enthusiastic when it comes to giving blow jobs. Often, this is because blow jobs are considered a quick foreplay activity that helps prepare for the “main act;” intercourse. When fellatio is seen as a chore by someone’s partner, the sexiness and intimacy is lost. Oral sex, and other non-penetrative sex activities, can be pleasurable in and of itself, and thinking about sex apart from penetration can help enhance everyone’s sex life. Many men love fellatio because it’s the time when their partner can focus purely on pleasing them, and spoil them a little bit. If you’re one of those people who wants fellatio to be more fun when you’re performing it, there are lots of places to start.

The internet has become a burgeoning resource for information on a variety of sex education topics, but it’s often hard to find websites where you can guarantee the information is medically accurate and safe. Books are still one of the best places to find accurate information. In the last decade, many authors have begun to publish books on every sexual topic imaginable. If you are determined to become an expert on a particular subject, finding a good book that covers your topic is going to be the way to go. The other handy thing about books is you can easily reference them when there’s something you’ve forgotten, or when you want to share a successful sex-tip with your friends. Plus, books tend to have the most illustrative pictures, which can help if there’s a concept you’re not quite understanding. Once you’ve amassed a sex education library, you’ll not only be an expert in your own relationships, but can be a great resource for friends who need some sexy ideas to spice up their sex lives!

Most books about fellatio focus on techniques and feel-good tricks. Going Down is one of the more comprehensive books on fellatio, and discusses anatomy, techniques, and how to incorporate sensual blow jobs into your relationship. For something that’s a little shorter, but contains some fabulous techniques and tips, Tickle His Pickle is a great (and quick!) read. If you’re pretty good in the technique department, but want to get creative in fantasy + oral sex department, Oral Sex He’ll Never Forget is the right book for you. It is a detailed guide to 52 different ways to give a blow job. As mentioned earlier, books are a great way to become an expert in variety and technique when it comes to giving fellatio. However, not everyone has the time to sit down and read a book and then practice all the different techniques to figure out what works the best for their partner. In these cases, there are some simple ways to spice up a blow job to give your partner a mind-blowing experience.

The simplest way to spice up a blow job is to make it tasty, so you have something delicious to lick off him. Flavored lubes add flavor to a blow job and are safe to use internally, so you don’t have to worry about washing the lube off if you’re going to proceed to intercourse later on. You can also find lube in pretty much any flavor imaginable. The Pink Lemonade lube from Sliquid is delicious (and all natural!), and System Jo offers several different flavors that are quality as well. The great thing about flavored lubes is that they come in handy when performing safe oral sex because instead of having to worry about getting a flavored condom that you don’t like from a 3-pack, you can just add some of your favorite flavored lube to a non-lubricated condom and you’re set to give a blow job without the risk on contracting STIs or STDs.

The only downside to flavored lube is that he’s not going to feel sensation from it, except slipperiness, so the all sensation is going to have to come from technique alone. An easy way to add some sensation for him is to find a tingling lube or gel to incorporate into oral sex. Wet’s 4-in-1 warming lube adds sensation for him and flavor for you, and is safe to use internally like the lubes listed above. Kama Sutra makes a line of stimulating gels that taste good and tingle (rather than warm). Just remember, any gel or lube that adds sensation is going to feel the same in your mouth, so make sure you’re OK with tasting warming or cooling sensations while you’re using it. The best part about warming and tingling/cooling lubes/gels is that they can add sensation to other parts of the body like the nipples, anus, or clitoris, so you can both take turns applying them to each other then licking them off.

Spicing up a blow job doesn’t just have to be about adding flavor or sensation to the penis, though. Incorporating vibrators or penis sleeves to change up your blow job routine can help blow his mind (pun intended). The great thing about having a a clitoral vibrator on hand is that you can easily pull it out and use it during a blow job. A vibrator like the Layaspot fits easily in the palm of your hand and has a curve that is perfect to use on the frenulum (the most sensitive part of the penis), rub up and down the shaft, rest against the testicles, or use on the perineum (the sensitive piece of skin between the testicles and the anus). If you want to be a little more adventurous, you can use a beginner anal toy like the Pro Touch while giving him a blow job. Or, if you want a toy that will add some sensation to your blow job, and help avoid the possibility of gagging, a simple sleeve like The Stroker is designed to feel similar to vaginal muscles and will give you opportunity to focus your mouth on the most sensitive parts of his penis (just make sure you use plenty of lube on the sleeve).

If you’re just determined to show him that you want to spoil him and make him feel good, a toy or lube might not even be necessary. Setting up a sexy night that starts with wearing some cute lingerie and then showing off some of the techniques you learned at our Let’s Talk Sex workshop, or in a book, is a simple and erotic way to show your partner you care about them and want to focus on their pleasure too.

Fellatio can be a fun and erotic way to express your feelings for your partner, help them relax after a long week, or start a night of hot sex off on the right foot. Whatever your purpose for wanting to become a blow job expert, lots of toys, books and sexy items exist to complement and enhance whatever you have in mind. It’s always good to remember that fellatio doesn’t always have to be just foreplay, but can be a fun sex act in and of itself.