Dear Shanna,
I’d like to bring up watching porn with my partner, but I’m not sure how to start. Does it mean I’m a pervert if I want to watch people getting it on together with the love of my life?
Pat
Portland, OR
Pat -
While I don’t personally think being a little bit of a pervert is a bad thing (aren’t we all just a little bit pervy at times?), there is definitely nothing wrong with you for wanting to enjoy a little adult entertainment with your partner!
Lots of couples enjoy watching porn together, whether it’s more girl-on-girl, porn with a plot, or some incredible hardcore action. It doesn’t say anything about your relationship, and in fact, many relationships can be enhanced by the consensual enjoyment of porn.
What does this mean? It’s fine to bring up porn with your love, and say you’d like to watch it together (and even explain why)…it’s not ok to tell them that they have to watch it with you. If they’re not up for it, you can always watch it on your own.
How to bring it? Why not offer to take them shopping to your local romance retailer and pick out a film you both like together. Some popular genres include the parody (the Sex Files, Twilight XXX, This Ain’t Ghost Hunters XXX), big budget (Pirates 1 and Pirates 2, Flight Attendants, Real Boogie Nights XXX, Cheerleaders, etc), girl on girl (Sweetheart video, some Good Releasing titles like Seven Minutes in Heaven, Shane’s World Pussy Party, etc), and so on. If you choose something together that you both like the look of, it is much more likely that you will enjoy it together.
What happens while you watch it? Anything you want. You can sit on either side of the couch, or wrapped up in each others arms. It’s ok to kiss, touch, pet and play with each other while watching. It’s even ok to press pause if you two get turned on so much that you need to create your own action sequence.
Enjoy!
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