I’ve been asked, as well as done the asking, about how to know if it’s really love. I’ve since realized if you have to ask, there’s no way it can be love. Because when you’re in love with someone, you just know, right? I mean, love changes everything, even your physiology – sometimes annoyingly so. But for those of you who insist on making sense of your emotions, I went ahead and broke down the drug’s intoxicating effects:
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It’s pretty easy to know whether or not you’re an adventurous person who will jump onto a rollercoaster without signing a will and saying your last goodbyes. It’s also fairly easy to know if you’re an adventurous eater. You know, a person who braves the eats like Andrew Zimmerman. The adventure line blurs right around where sex surfaces. This makes sense because sex can be very complicating. In other words, it can be difficult to determine whether you’re daring or demure, in the sack.
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While it’s much more fun to talk about the “do’s” of sex, there are some questions Fascinations associates are frequently asked that require a more nuanced explanation of why you should “just say no.” Vaginal tightening creams are one of the items we are asked for in our stores, and many people are confused when they find out that we don’t carry any tightening gels, creams or sprays. If you are interested in why Fascinations doesn’t carry these products anymore, or are thinking about trying a tightening cream, read the following information before making that choice.
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1. Biting: You are not acting out a seen from The Vampire Diaries, so simmer down. Men do not want their penis clamped between your teeth like a bite guard and women don’t want their lady flower or lady bits gnawed on. Some tender nibbling and licking will do just fine, thankyouverymuch. Check out this book, The Ultimate Guide to Oral Sex, for some tips on fellatio.
2. Hush: This is no time to hone in on your mime skills, unless of course, you’re banging in a library. An orgasm should be announced and celebrated. So, in the words of J. Lo, “Get Loud!”
3. Food Network: As with most things, there’s a time and a place. And, bed is rarely the time or place for food. If you pounce onto your partner, rolled in cherry pie filling or wielding a Tostino’s pizza, I guarantee a sexy night is not in your future. You’ll end your night with a walk through the nearest car wash. This doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy a little sweetness; just make sure it’s bedroom safe. Fascinations offers some exquisite chocolate body paint and play pens, so you can decorate and devour your partner.
4. Serious Convo: If you mention your parent’s divorce, grandfather’s funeral, or recent firing during a banging session, we will simply answer “uh-huh” because that’s all anyone is really capable of at such a time. So, back off with the Debbie Downer stuff. If you must talk, say something sexy or a little dirty. The book, Sex is Fun, gives great tips on talking dirty and other ways to spice up your sex life!
5. Off Limits: Don’t try going somewhere that you haven’t already been given the okay to do.
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Trying to impress a woman by telling her you can have sex for hours, will do no such thing. In fact, it will make her run faster than Usain Bolt. When a woman has sex, she wants to know there’s an end in sight. She doesn’t want a quickie to turn into a marathon. And, really, no man wants that either, because while you’re thrusting away, she’ll be making her to-do list. So, let’s solve this delayed ejaculation issue. Any one, or combination, of factors can be to blame.
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Instead of making the same old New Year’s Resolution again about how you’re finally going to drop those last five pounds or quit smoking, how about making one that will really benefit you – and the one you love. That’s right, resolve to last longer in bed. Below are five sure fire ways to help you avoid the utterly embarrassing, status-post wrinkled penis explosion.
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